Complaints


Noodle Vomit

Read about the time when I almost became an official noodle tester for Campbell's Supernoodles. Unfortunately, it never happened, but it would have been an exciting job.

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Vanilla Vomit

Vanilla flavoured vomit
in a tub? Surely Muller
were having a laugh.

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Fail Mail

Think your postie is
useless? Think again,
you haven't met mine.

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Argos = Incompetent

Express delivery? Yeah, if you call "express" waiting around four weeks...

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The Buckfast Rant


One of the most-read articles on the site is this one. Probably because people come to it thinking they are going to be reading a fact-filled article about the world's most famous fighting juice. Sorry, you're going to be disappointed there... read more


Guide to Celebrities


What exactly is a celebrity these days? It seems that if you've had five minutes of fame on the tellybox, then you're automatically a celebrity. Even if those five minutes were of you being a fat, talentless racist. Then this article is for you...  read more


Postman Pat in the 21st Century

Some things should be left well alone. One of those things is classic children's television programmes. When you go messing around with the general format and introducing characters to it, that's how wars start. 

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Goths, Emos & Skaters

This was a half-arsed attempt from the early days of The Sea Turkeys. I don't think it was ever finished and once you've read it, you'll come to realise why that is.


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