The Archives
Complaints
- Boots Buggery
- Telephone Cables
- Noodle Vomit
- Citylinking, Not smart thinking
- Stupid Bloody Council
- Morrisons Complaints
- Vanilla Vomit
- Fail Mail
- Argos = Incompetent
- SPT = Buggering journies
- The
self-destructing tripod
Rants
- The Buckfast Rant
- Car Park Rant
- Stagecoach Rally
- Guide to Celebrities
- Goths, Emos & Skaters
- Modified Car Owners
- Postman Pat Rant
- Shitetime TV
- Wrong Mail
Letters
Noodle Vomit
Read about the time when I almost became an official noodle tester
for Campbell's Supernoodles. Unfortunately, it never happened, but it
would have been an exciting job.
The Buckfast Rant
One of the most-read articles on the site is this one. Probably because people come to it thinking they are going to be reading a fact-filled article about the world's most famous fighting juice. Sorry, you're going to be disappointed there... read more
Guide to Celebrities
What exactly is a celebrity these days? It seems that if you've had five minutes of fame on the tellybox, then you're automatically a celebrity. Even if those five minutes were of you being a fat, talentless racist. Then this article is for you... read more
Postman Pat in the 21st Century
Some things should be left well alone. One of those things is
classic children's television programmes. When you go messing around
with the general format and introducing characters to it, that's how
wars start.
Goths, Emos & Skaters
This was a half-arsed attempt from the early days of The Sea Turkeys. I
don't think it was ever finished and once you've read it, you'll come
to realise why that is. Adverts