21st Century Boy
There are some
things which are best just left as they are. Original
and spotless. Classic cars, A fine wine, Eighties Television
programmes... Why the hell they decided to update Postman Pat and
Fireman Sam (which looks equally as shit as the new version of Postman
Pat) now, I'll never know. The Rant
Well, you can only imagine my total
shock
at hearing the news that Postman Pat was being reintroduced onto our
screens. I had to watch one of the new episodes to see what all the
fuss was about. Well, finally, I managed to catch a new episode of
Postman Pat. I'm not liking it to be honest. Thanks to Cosgrove Hall,
they've completely wrecked my childhood dream.
Wankers...
Anyway, as any die-hard fan would, I wrote to them to point out where they've gone wrong. Very wrong.
Dear Cosgrove Hall,
I am writing to congratulate you and express my sheer dissatisfaction with you in the same letter. Firstly, let me offer my sincere congratulations on winning the popular 'Postman Pat' children's television series. But may I say, that I am very downhearted at how you have re-vamped Pat and his ever-loved friends in Greendale.
Firstly, I used to watch Postman Pat on his daily deliveries as a small child. I was a moderate to high fan of the show, as were thousands, if not millions, of other children. I used to be worried that he might not be able to deliver the important mail to the residents of Greendale, due to the fact that a tree had blown across the only road in the village, or he was caught in an unexpected snowdrift and had to dig himself out. But such was the determination of this dedicated Royal Mail worker, he battled on to ensure that the villagers received their mail. There was one particular episode, it was fairly windy as it seemed to be on most days, and he had to drive all the way up to Granny Dryden's with a package. When he got there, Granny Dryden opened the package and presented an overworked Pat with a shiny new watch. A gesture by any means.
I'm pretty certain that there wasn't a garage in Greendale, there wasn't an overwhelming requirement for such a place as there were only three vehicles in the entire village. Pat's post van and Ted Glen's pick-up (which had seen better days and looked unlikely to pass any MOT, just as well seeing as there wasn't a provision in the village to procure the legal documentation) and Sam's mobile shop. Now as we all know, Ted Glen was the local handyman. Always banging nails into wood for reasons unknown to the viewer. If Ted Glen was so handy, why didn't he try to fix Pat's gearbox? Is it because it is classed as government property and he cannot touch it? Surely there must be a provision of changing official Royal Mail vehicles every so often? I also noticed that Pat had a personalised license plate on said post van, which was 'PAT 1', how did he afford that on a postman's salary? I know there are no pubs in Greendale, so he must have been saving hard for years. He was also given the use of a Royal Mail post bus. He didn't have that very long, as he seemed to favour his trusty old van over the gleaming new minibus. That probably explains why the Royal Mail took it back off him. Incidentally, the post bus bore the license plate of 'PAT 2'. So, that's two personalised plates on a rural postman's salary? Why didn't the Royal Mail provide him with a four wheel drive vehicle? I've lost count of the times I watched Pat wreck his van by driving it through various fields and scaring the wildlife.
Back to the matter in question.
I was watching one of the new episodes of Postman Pat the other morning. I was most upset at what you've done to Greendale and the assemblage of new characters that has been introduced. Greendale, for a start, seems more built up than it was several years ago. It also has a rough look about it now. I never spotted any in this particular episode, but have you introduced chavs to Greendale? I'm not ageist in any way, but I don't think Mrs Goggins is fit enough (or young enough) to be running the Post Office. For example, she told Pat that he had a very busy day ahead of him, before handing him five letters in total, for two separate locations. A touch of pre-senile dementia perhaps? Whose idea was it to give poor Jess, who looks like s/he needs a good wash, a more vocal part in this series? S/he seems to be questioned about Pat's every move.
In this episode, Pat neglected his duties as a rural postman to make pizzas with a character unknown to me. Thereby failing his duty as a postman to deliver the mail to the residents of Greendale. If that wasn't bad enough, he then decided to use an official Royal Mail vehicle to deliver the pizzas to the school. Isn't this offence classed as instant dismissal by the Royal Mail? The fact he failed to deliver the mail was bad enough, but to use a government vehicle to deliver pizzas? Incidentally, on his way to the school, you'll never guess what happened. That's right, a tree blew down in the road. What a surprise! So, instead of executing a three point turn, Pat decides to reverse all the way back to the house, which seemed like it was several miles away. It's no wonder his van is knackered.
One other thing, since when did Pat become a family man? I was watching it in the original series and there is no mention of Pat's family, nor indeed, what appears to be a ten year old child. Has Pat been neglecting his role as a father? Was he responsible for the demonstrations under the pseudonym "Father's for Justice"? We'll never know. He seems quite happy though. Fair play to him, I mean, he must be nearly retirement age now. If he hadn't spent all that money on personalised license plates, he could have put the money towards an operation to reduce the size of his son, Julian's, bulbous hands.
Since when did Greendale have a railway station? It contradicts the opening credits, where we see a long shot of the village, there is no railway line nor indeed, a train station. Presumably this station must be located outside of Greendale. In the more desolate housing scheme area.
I'd like to hear an apology for ruining what used to be a popular show. On the flipside however, if you require storywriters for this series, then please let me know and I'd be happy to submit some of my ideas.
Yours etc.
Cogsy @ ST
Wankers...
Anyway, as any die-hard fan would, I wrote to them to point out where they've gone wrong. Very wrong.
Dear Cosgrove Hall,
I am writing to congratulate you and express my sheer dissatisfaction with you in the same letter. Firstly, let me offer my sincere congratulations on winning the popular 'Postman Pat' children's television series. But may I say, that I am very downhearted at how you have re-vamped Pat and his ever-loved friends in Greendale.
Firstly, I used to watch Postman Pat on his daily deliveries as a small child. I was a moderate to high fan of the show, as were thousands, if not millions, of other children. I used to be worried that he might not be able to deliver the important mail to the residents of Greendale, due to the fact that a tree had blown across the only road in the village, or he was caught in an unexpected snowdrift and had to dig himself out. But such was the determination of this dedicated Royal Mail worker, he battled on to ensure that the villagers received their mail. There was one particular episode, it was fairly windy as it seemed to be on most days, and he had to drive all the way up to Granny Dryden's with a package. When he got there, Granny Dryden opened the package and presented an overworked Pat with a shiny new watch. A gesture by any means.
I'm pretty certain that there wasn't a garage in Greendale, there wasn't an overwhelming requirement for such a place as there were only three vehicles in the entire village. Pat's post van and Ted Glen's pick-up (which had seen better days and looked unlikely to pass any MOT, just as well seeing as there wasn't a provision in the village to procure the legal documentation) and Sam's mobile shop. Now as we all know, Ted Glen was the local handyman. Always banging nails into wood for reasons unknown to the viewer. If Ted Glen was so handy, why didn't he try to fix Pat's gearbox? Is it because it is classed as government property and he cannot touch it? Surely there must be a provision of changing official Royal Mail vehicles every so often? I also noticed that Pat had a personalised license plate on said post van, which was 'PAT 1', how did he afford that on a postman's salary? I know there are no pubs in Greendale, so he must have been saving hard for years. He was also given the use of a Royal Mail post bus. He didn't have that very long, as he seemed to favour his trusty old van over the gleaming new minibus. That probably explains why the Royal Mail took it back off him. Incidentally, the post bus bore the license plate of 'PAT 2'. So, that's two personalised plates on a rural postman's salary? Why didn't the Royal Mail provide him with a four wheel drive vehicle? I've lost count of the times I watched Pat wreck his van by driving it through various fields and scaring the wildlife.
Back to the matter in question.
I was watching one of the new episodes of Postman Pat the other morning. I was most upset at what you've done to Greendale and the assemblage of new characters that has been introduced. Greendale, for a start, seems more built up than it was several years ago. It also has a rough look about it now. I never spotted any in this particular episode, but have you introduced chavs to Greendale? I'm not ageist in any way, but I don't think Mrs Goggins is fit enough (or young enough) to be running the Post Office. For example, she told Pat that he had a very busy day ahead of him, before handing him five letters in total, for two separate locations. A touch of pre-senile dementia perhaps? Whose idea was it to give poor Jess, who looks like s/he needs a good wash, a more vocal part in this series? S/he seems to be questioned about Pat's every move.
In this episode, Pat neglected his duties as a rural postman to make pizzas with a character unknown to me. Thereby failing his duty as a postman to deliver the mail to the residents of Greendale. If that wasn't bad enough, he then decided to use an official Royal Mail vehicle to deliver the pizzas to the school. Isn't this offence classed as instant dismissal by the Royal Mail? The fact he failed to deliver the mail was bad enough, but to use a government vehicle to deliver pizzas? Incidentally, on his way to the school, you'll never guess what happened. That's right, a tree blew down in the road. What a surprise! So, instead of executing a three point turn, Pat decides to reverse all the way back to the house, which seemed like it was several miles away. It's no wonder his van is knackered.
One other thing, since when did Pat become a family man? I was watching it in the original series and there is no mention of Pat's family, nor indeed, what appears to be a ten year old child. Has Pat been neglecting his role as a father? Was he responsible for the demonstrations under the pseudonym "Father's for Justice"? We'll never know. He seems quite happy though. Fair play to him, I mean, he must be nearly retirement age now. If he hadn't spent all that money on personalised license plates, he could have put the money towards an operation to reduce the size of his son, Julian's, bulbous hands.
Since when did Greendale have a railway station? It contradicts the opening credits, where we see a long shot of the village, there is no railway line nor indeed, a train station. Presumably this station must be located outside of Greendale. In the more desolate housing scheme area.
I'd like to hear an apology for ruining what used to be a popular show. On the flipside however, if you require storywriters for this series, then please let me know and I'd be happy to submit some of my ideas.
Yours etc.
Cogsy @ ST
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